I want to PUNCH Jillian Michaels in her FACE!

This woman is nuts....or maybe I really AM that out of shape...20 minutes of pure hell, plus a 5 minute warm-up which I THOUGHT was the workout.

Good Lord! What in Gods name has happened to me over the last 5 years. If you would have seen me at 22 years old, most people couldn't keep up with me! I figured being a massage therapist, my Job is pretty physically demanding. At one point I thought that was exercise enough, but my body is so used to it now that I guess its not real exercise anymore. I need help with Portion control as well. My dads side of the family is all from Colombia so chicken with Beans and rice is pretty much your side dish at dinner.

On my moms side of the family, they were Irish, and boy did I LOVE my grandmas meatloaf, and spaghetti and Corned beef, and cranberry sauce that she would let me have my own can to myself anytime she made it!

Portion control was NEVER in my vocabulary, I'm not sure how I can break a bad habit.....
here's a more recent pic of me and my boys :)

one of the days someone asked me when I was "due"....I looked so cute in my maternity top! ::rolls eyes::

Oh and here are two pics of my Pre-baby days....Can you see why I pray to baby Jesus every night for a miracle....

New years eve, 2004,

 23  & drunk here, note the:" I'

m too sexy

 

 for my short skorts" look...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How much chocolate is TOO much chocolate?

Ok so last night was interesting. I "attempted"to make tilapia with some veggies.
I guess this is a good time to mention that I suck royally at cooking. If it was possible to screw up boiling water, I'm sure I'd find a way to do it. I must have asked Lance at least 10 times "is it done yet? How can I tell if it's done?" he's very patient with me, well most of the time.
I must say it turned out pretty fantastic!
For dessert I read somewhere that dark chocolate and bananas help lower your blood pressure and cholesterol. So I melted a bunch of choclate and dipped the bananans in it
Best.Dessert.Ever.
However, lance was a little upset because I melted and ate a half a bag of chocolate. He told me from now on he will be "monitoring" my intake of sweets.

I just found my Jillian Michaels work out that I brought from target a while back. I never tried it but from what I hear, she knows how to get you and KEEP you in shape. Plus the workouts are only 20 minutes long!
Now that's my kind of workout!

I'm freaking starving right now and only had a banana for breakfast. It's way better than what I was having for breakfast before which was nothing
Baby step,people. Slow and steady wins the race or however that analogy goes.
Anyways, im off to make some fish and veggies and then Going
To spend sometime with my new friend Jillian....
Toodles!

well. that was fun!

Ok, So lets start off with the basics.
My name is Cassie, Just turned 29. I have a son, who is my whole world. We just moved into a beautiful home with my boyfriend Lance. I'm a massage therapist and actually really love my job. Great friends. Amazing yet, crazy family. No major regrets with anything I've done in my life (with the exception of a few ex-boyfriends).
Life is Good...
except the fact that I'm a good 30 pounds overweight and at 5'3, that's not exactly healthy.
I can no longer use the excuse that its "baby fat" because my "baby" will be 5 years old next month..
I'm not going to sit here and blame my weight gain on a bad childhood, or a neglecting boyfriend or a crappy job because none of that is true.
My family is awesome, supportive, and most of them are in great shape!. (bastards)
My friends are wonderful, funny, like sisters (most look like they just walked off the cover of a surfing magazine.)
My boyfriend is amazing. Stepped into this relationship when my son had just turned 2 years old and has loved me and said I'm sexy with my curves. He has trouble putting ON weight. He can't seem to gain anything and barely has to work out  in order to keep his "figure"

so maybe I'm a little bit Jealous of the fact that most people around me are in pretty much fantastic shape.
I wasn't always like this though. Before my son, I was in great shape. 115-120 pounds...maybe 125 was the biggest I EVER was, and I blamed that weight on my boobs.
I was in theater, Dancing and singing since I was about 5 years old and I NEVER had to watch what I ate. If I had to go out somewhere and wanted a new outfit, I could walk right into GUESS at the mall and walk out in 20 minutes. Anything I put on looked good. I never had to wonder if I looked fat in it. Now, I can't even think about buying clothes. The thought makes me want to throw up.


Anytime I see these pretty little, skinny, girls at the mall walk out with their size 2 jeans and extra small shirts, I secretly want to stick my foot out and trip them.
I know that's just my insecurites talking and me wanting to point the finger at everyone else about why I can't lose this weight.

the simple fact is that I'm a mom now, your body changes and I can't eat 461486717 cookies at 1:00 in the morning with a big glass of milk like I used to.
I'm finally letting go and ok with the fact I'll never be a size 3-5 again. I just want to be healthy, lose 30 pounds so People don't ask me "awww....whens' the baby due!"
yes. Its happened twice. and I just smile and say "I'm about 4 months. Thanks!"
and then go cry a river in my car..

I'm hoping that this blog will motivate me to get off my lazy ass and do a little bit of exercise and eat healthier. anyone who wants to offer advice,.recipes, motivation. anything would be awesome.

So lets start with Day one:
I woke up this morning with a hell of headache, possibly could have been the 3 beers I had last night (but hey they were bud LIGHT!)
there was no sign of Advil in the house. ughhhhh...
so I had to go to publix and I had a Brilliant Idea that I would walk there! Now when we drive there by car, it doesnt seem far at ALL....I thought "pff....I can do this"

Seriously. WTF was I thinking.....I got half way there and I thought my legs were going to fall out. and Hello! I live in Florida. Walking OUTSIDE feels like your walking INTO a sauna.
I finally made it to publix, grabbed my advil, water and some Brussel Sprouts.
Then I wanted to cry cause I realized I had to walk BACK.
I listened to a bunch of "Glee" songs, especially "Like a prayer" because it was gonna be a miracle if I made this walk back without having a heart attack.

But I did and it did feel good. I'm wondering how i'm going to feel later though.
And I'm sure the Pain will set in tonight when my first client arrives and says ":Yea sooo i'm looking for a deep tissue massage, I heard you do two hour massages?"
yup....story of my life.

Until tomorrow boys and girls